Cascades vs. Loggers
Sunday’s early matchup between the Cascades and Loggers was wet, wild…and oddly whimsical. Despite chucking around a pill that seemingly weighed 10lbs of pure water, the first half seemed to rain points as much as [ed: censored]. Both teams scrapped their way to early call-and-response goals behind the feet of McGeachin and Sandman – everyone’s new favorite law firm. The score was tighter than the [ed: censored… again] at the half, and a trailing but resurgent Loggers squad pushed hard. Luke Mooney popped a couple in and was promptly set upon by the Cascades’ secret weapon, Jake Gawlista, who provided just enough frustration to open the door for an unstoppable Matty Worden to put the game away. Big shouts out to the Loggers’ newbies Zaya “Tha Slaya” McSky for taking and doling out a few beautiful tackles and Erik “Big Kahuna” Wenger for his 2nd and 3rd efforts off the ruck. Kudos likewise to a tireless, physical Cascades’ on ballers – Seb, Adam, and Quinny.

Umpires
Shepherd, Okely, Blanden

Score
Cascades: 8.4.52
Loggers: 5.6.36

Goals
Cascades: Worden 5, McGeachin 2, Quinn 1
Loggers: Sandman 3, Mooney 2

Brewers vs. Ospreys
The second matchup of the day between the Brewers and Ospreys was a downright slugfest filled with all the things you love about footy – unrelenting chatter, a close scoreboard, exceedingly questionable arbitration [ed: the umpiring was fine and the author needs to get over giving up a free kick and 25 meter penalty that almost cost his team the game], slippery balls all over the ground, and Tyson Okely tackling women to the turf without remorse. Seth and Pete set the tone of the match, rucking up a fierce storm from outset to end, and feeding a center crew who chased the leather like [ed: censored – although this one was only borderline questionable]. Ryno and Jazz were at each others’ throats, Marto and Dan “Dannyboy” Nowell covered enough pitch to start their own minor league baseball team, but the return of Heather Serpico helped shift things in favor of the Brewers. Despite an incredible effort from Simone in the back for the Ospreys, The Brothers Snider capitalized on a few dropped balls to put the game out of reach for the Brewers. Play of the game? Osprey Caleb Elliott’s monster effort from midfield, kicking a scorcher through the pins. Player of the game? Big Sam in the back for the Brew Crew with more bats than a cave, more marks than child’s bedroom wall, and shorts brighter than Emily Blunt’s veneers.

Umpires
Sandman, Quinn

Score
Brewers: 6.6.42
Ospreys: 5.8.38

Goals
Brewers: J Snider 3, Coventry 2, B Snider 1
Opreys: Stewart 3, Elliott 1, Blanden 1